8 Different Types Of People During Valentines

February 14 is just an ordinary date like February 13 that sat on its own, all of a sudden, Sir Valentine gave his life for his love on that day, now, everyone is forced to celebrate Valentine as lover’s day.

  When we were in primary school, we exchange gifts on this day, even though I gave Inioluwa an expensive drink and he gave me biscuit, we still make ourselves happy. Then secondary school, my colleagues put on white or red inner, twin around after school hours and one brother will give a sister sweet flower, there was no oppression.

Fast forward to adulthood and I’ve been forced to belong to one of these people during this trying time, Valentines day.

1. Sadists

These ones are single people or people that will not get gifts, they’re angry at those celebrating Val with their lovers. Some of them secretly wish the gift will drop and get ruined or the love birds fight and scatter everything on that day.

2. Lover birds

Lomotif videos with weneva yuredi? Tik Tok with that’s my baby yeah? Yes, they are there. They are everywhere that has to do with showing off their partners and choking us with touchy videos. Who dey brettt? Only the fellow coupled up people will do aww to their videos and some of their friends. They’ve ordered all the For Him and For Her packages, money bouquet, cakes and perfumes. If you’re dating and you are yet to plan anything just know that it is over for you and your lover. The early birds have booked their spots and you should be planning how to cook for him/her by yourself.

3. Neutral floaters

These people don’t even know what love is. St Valentine who? They are just always posting memes about stealing people’s men or taking what belongs to Caesar like what belongs to Caesar wants to take them. They love nobody and nobody loves them or they’ve sent every men out of their lives with “bro”.

4. Situationship mugus

These ones are the ones that have seen numerous tweets about running away from Yoruba men that just want to flow with the moment yet they fell in love with them. Valentine gifts no too sure for them because love gan no too sure for them. They are so unsure about what Valentines day holds for them because their ship has been built on uncertainties. Will they buy the men gifts? Will the men buy them gifts?  They are just there chasing circles and Mungo Parking because why not?

If you’re the guy and you are driving this reckless ship,

5. Love merchants

Since December these ones have been disturbing us to come and buy gifts for our boos and baes. We can’t rest on the bird, green and clout app because they are always there right in our faces. Must we love? Looking at the packages most of us have decided that love is only for the strong and wealthy. What is chicken and chips for Ade Ori N6000? Lovers are robbers and love merchants are the baba isale, arrest them all.

6. Status observers

These set of people deliberately subscribe a day to Valentine to check on everyone, they won’t go anywhere, they’d sit at the corner of their room shouting “See what Emeka gave Tina” it’s not even fine, upon all her mouth. They screenshot statuses and send to other single asses like them.

7. Bonje disguised as foodie

I think I belong here, we don’t have lovers, we don’t have anyone to wish us happy val, so on that day, we go early to our friends that receives numerous gifts for visitation, so when the package comes we’re not left out. That’s where we have our breakfast, lunch and dinner. After all, there’s love in sharing.

8. “God when” people

These ones are in a relationship, but they told their partners, “don’t worry dear, everyday is val for us” then they come on WhatsApp, see updates and start shouting God when!?, Am I not your daughter? When will love find me? Yeye people.

Then there are the actual God when, God abeg, God no, God money and memes only  geng. They have no man/woman but want them. Cupid has forgotten these ones.

I think, from my opinion and my point of view, anyone that celebrates Valentine should be punished. We all agreed to kala, daju, stay wicked and you all are falling in love behind, nonsense and concobility. Valentine comes and goes but eniyan lo ma ku.

What category do you belong to? Let us know in the comment section.

Credit: Co-writer Ruqayyah